Upon taking the self-assessment required for this discussion (McGraw-Hill Ryerson, 2001), I noticed that I have an interesting blend of conflict managements styles. I wasn’t surprised by my results as I’ve known about how I manage conflict for a while. I use a blend of avoiding, accommodating, and compromising with collaboration and competing when I feel it’s necessary.
Since I use a blend based on the situation I’m dealing with, instead of just talking about one I will talk the three I use most. Three benefits to my conflict management style:
· Ability to let minor or temporary issues pass, allowing me to save my energy for more important ones. (Alder, Winder, Rosenfeld, & Proctor II, 2020)
· Being able to “Take one for the team,” or “lose the battle to win the war.” Basically, being able to let someone else “win” even if I don’t agree with them. (Alder, Winder, Rosenfeld, & Proctor II, 2020)
· Being willing to give to find a middle ground.
Now to list a draw back. I often feel upset about how the conflict went. This is very much a draw back. It means I will think about the conflict for a while after it has happened and feel upset or resigned all over again.
My relationship with conflict isn’t a healthy one. I’ve been slowly working on it for years. Over time I have gotten more assertive and went from always giving in or hiding, to occasionally standing my ground. Just a few years ago the other two conflict styles (collaboration and competing) wouldn’t have even been on my list of what I use. They would have been something I avoided.
Every method of conflict management has it’s merits and uses. No one style works perfectly for every situation. I’m personally trying to learn to use other styles when dealing with things I find important. I’ve made progress but still have a lot way to go. Conflict is something that scares me, it has since I was a child. Other people being angry was bad. If my teacher got mad, I got in trouble. If my parents got mad, I got in trouble. Basically, I saw conflict as a source of trouble. When someone got angry everyone got hurt (emotionally). I’m working to correct that.
Knowing what methods, I use and that they can be quite useful in certain situations goes a long way in helping me learn when I need to use other methods. A friend recently asked me to describe, using a metaphor or a simile, how I saw conflict. My answer was “Conflict is like a wildfire.” I went on to explain that wildfires burn everything in their path if they get out of control. They’re terrifying and dangerous. In controlled settings they are helpful, but most of us don’t experience a wildfire in a controlled setting.
In the article we were to read the writer mentioned something. “It’s incredibly important to not be afraid when conflict arises because there are things you can do, such as becoming more skilled and qualified by building a repertoire for responding to reduce conflict,” says Dr. Benoliel (Walden News, 2017). I’d like to start “controlling” the wildfire more, as just avoiding it doesn’t mean I won’t get burned.
References
Alder, R. B., Winder, C., Rosenfeld, L. B., & Proctor II, R. F. (2020). Interplay Fifth Canadian Edition. Oxford.
McGraw-Hill Ryerson. (2001). Organizational Conflict and Negotiation. Retrieved from Online Learning Centre: https://tools.mheducation.ca/college/mcshane4/student/olc/4obm_sa_13.html
Walden News. (2017, May 30). What’s Your Conflict Management Style? Retrieved from Walden University: https://www.waldenu.edu/news-and-events/walden-news/2017/0530-whats-your-conflict-management-style
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