Into the Workplace!

 The results of the two self-assessments assigned for this discussion were within the area I was expecting. For team player I got a 58 for fear of criticism. This is something I have slowly been working on. The comment from the test gave some good advice.  “Fear of Criticism appears to be of minor concern for you when working in a group situation. You may not be fully able to participate because you do not always handle negative feedback in a positive manner. Remember that feedback is simply a part of the group process and should not be taken personally.” (ARCH Profile, 2020).

For the second self-assessment, team roles, the highest I had in a category was 19%. I am an innovator more than anything else, but I am also an expert, driver, and team player. In these categories I scored 19%, 17%, 14% and 14% respectively. In the other categories mentioned I got an 11% or lower. Last year I had an experience working with a team that showed me how I function in a team. I take charge as most people don’t generally want that role (driver). I come up with ideas (innovator), do my best to get the team to work together (team player), and will take on any area that I have knowledge or skills in (expert). (123 Test, 2020).

There are multiple relationship behaviours that are needed in order for a team to work effectively. Encouraging participation, harmonizing, relieving tension, evaluating the group’s emotional climate, giving praise, and listening thoughtfully to the concerns of others. If a group isn’t operating well, checking if one of these areas is lacking is a good place to start with getting things on track (Alder, Winder, Rosenfeld, & Proctor II, 2020, pp. 370-371).

In a workplace I prefer to work alone and asking others for advice as I need it. This doesn’t mean I can’t work well in a group. I simply don’t like the responsibility that comes with working for others as I often take a leadership role. My creativity makes me great for coming up with ideas, but my sense of responsibility generally also has me taking charge. I’ll also check in with others to be sure everyone gets their part done, and that if someone needs help, they get it.

It is incredibly frustrating for me when my ideas are completely ignored. Due to this, when I am in charge, I try to listen to everyone’s ideas. I tend to incorporate as many as possible and am always happy when everyone’s ideas are part of the project. I can lead and organize groups though I prefer to work on my own. I know how long it will take me to do something and can pace myself accordingly. Trying to factor in unknown time needs makes it difficult to know how long it will take to complete a project.

Since I can work successfully in a group, group work won’t hinder my success in the workplace. It will add stress, but a job won’t suddenly become impossible as long as the other group members are willing to work together. A group is only as good as its members. This includes the members desire and ability to work together. It is every member of the group’s responsibility to put effort into getting along and working together.

References

123 Test. (2020). Team Roles Test. Retrieved from 123 Test: https://www.123test.com/team-roles-test/id=4YYQTCJJ5FNX&version=

Alder, R. B., Winder, C., Rosenfeld, L. B., & Proctor II, R. F. (2020). Interplay Fifth Canadian Edition. Oxford.

ARCH Profile. (2020). Team Player Test. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/bin/transfer

Duking it out, or not?

 Upon taking the self-assessment required for this discussion (McGraw-Hill Ryerson, 2001), I noticed that I have an interesting blend of conflict managements styles. I wasn’t surprised by my results as I’ve known about how I manage conflict for a while. I use a blend of avoiding, accommodating, and compromising with collaboration and competing when I feel it’s necessary.

Since I use a blend based on the situation I’m dealing with, instead of just talking about one I will talk the three I use most. Three benefits to my conflict management style:

·         Ability to let minor or temporary issues pass, allowing me to save my energy for more important ones. (Alder, Winder, Rosenfeld, & Proctor II, 2020)

·         Being able to “Take one for the team,” or “lose the battle to win the war.” Basically, being able to let someone else “win” even if I don’t agree with them. (Alder, Winder, Rosenfeld, & Proctor II, 2020)

·         Being willing to give to find a middle ground.

Now to list a draw back. I often feel upset about how the conflict went. This is very much a draw back. It means I will think about the conflict for a while after it has happened and feel upset or resigned all over again.

My relationship with conflict isn’t a healthy one. I’ve been slowly working on it for years. Over time I have gotten more assertive and went from always giving in or hiding, to occasionally standing my ground. Just a few years ago the other two conflict styles (collaboration and competing) wouldn’t have even been on my list of what I use. They would have been something I avoided.

Every method of conflict management has it’s merits and uses. No one style works perfectly for every situation. I’m personally trying to learn to use other styles when dealing with things I find important. I’ve made progress but still have a lot way to go. Conflict is something that scares me, it has since I was a child. Other people being angry was bad. If my teacher got mad, I got in trouble. If my parents got mad, I got in trouble. Basically, I saw conflict as a source of trouble. When someone got angry everyone got hurt (emotionally). I’m working to correct that.

Knowing what methods, I use and that they can be quite useful in certain situations goes a long way in helping me learn when I need to use other methods. A friend recently asked me to describe, using a metaphor or a simile, how I saw conflict. My answer was “Conflict is like a wildfire.” I went on to explain that wildfires burn everything in their path if they get out of control. They’re terrifying and dangerous. In controlled settings they are helpful, but most of us don’t experience a wildfire in a controlled setting.

In the article we were to read the writer mentioned something. “It’s incredibly important to not be afraid when conflict arises because there are things you can do, such as becoming more skilled and qualified by building a repertoire for responding to reduce conflict,” says Dr. Benoliel (Walden News, 2017). I’d like to start “controlling” the wildfire more, as just avoiding it doesn’t mean I won’t get burned.

References

Alder, R. B., Winder, C., Rosenfeld, L. B., & Proctor II, R. F. (2020). Interplay Fifth Canadian Edition. Oxford.

McGraw-Hill Ryerson. (2001). Organizational Conflict and Negotiation. Retrieved from Online Learning Centre: https://tools.mheducation.ca/college/mcshane4/student/olc/4obm_sa_13.html

Walden News. (2017, May 30). What’s Your Conflict Management Style? Retrieved from Walden University: https://www.waldenu.edu/news-and-events/walden-news/2017/0530-whats-your-conflict-management-style

Confirming or Disconfirming

 

For the confirming and dis-confirming self assessment (Alder, Winder, Rosenfeld, & Proctor II, 2020, p. 279) I used the same friendship as the previous discussion. With this friendship I got 33 for the confirming and 10 for the dis-confirming (the average college student scores 29 confirming and 20 dis-confirming). I was then curious and did a different friendship. The second friendship had rather different results, 25 confirming and 31 dis-confirming. It was interesting to see how different the two friendships are. Since I talked about the first friendship in the previous discussion, I thought comparing it to another relationship would be interesting.

The first friendship is incredibly positive, emotions are validated, and there is a constant feeling of safety. No matter what is discussed we both know that we won’t be judged by the other for it. In comparison the second friendship does not give those feelings of safety. I don’t discuss near as many things for fear of being judged or lectured. While it is the longer of the two friendships, it isn’t one I feel at liberty to be vulnerable in.

The two friendships have very different climates. One feels warm, like being wrapped in a warm blanket sipping your favourite hot beverage on a cold winter day. The other feels cold, like a rainy day where it’s slush rain and you don’t have a coat or umbrella. The second is something you arm yourself for, with that coat and umbrella. While creating a relationship climate is something that requires both parties, there are things we do that contribute to it.

“There are many factors that shape the climate in our relationships. On the positive side there are things like smiling, laughing, pleasant tone of voice, eye contact, reaching out to, listening to and validating others. On the negative side there are things like ignoring, attacking, glaring, justifying, put downs and having to be right. Keeping our behavior on the positive side will improve the climate of our relationships.

But what is more important is what is going on inside of us. When we are grateful for our relationships, when we choose loving thoughts, choose to act rather than react to others, choose to forgive hurts and be at peace, then we will not have to work to create a positive relationship climate, it will already be in place.” (Derry, n.d.)

Something to remember though, is people won’t know what you don’t tell them. “Because interpersonal communication is the primary means by which we get to know others as unique individuals, it is important to understand the role of self-disclosure. Self-disclosure is the process of revealing information about yourself to others that is not readily known by them—you have to disclose it.” (Lumen Learning, n.d.)

You need communication skills to know when and how to tell someone things. You need to be aware of whether they would be receptive to learning more about you right then, or if you should wait until another time. You also need to have listening skills in order to learn about the other person. One-sided relationships aren’t healthy.

I would like to improve my ability to read people and to listen to them. With this course I am hoping to raise my awareness of my weaknesses (some of which I have learned through previous discussions) so I can work on them. To know what it is I need to work on, to learn more about different aspects of communication so that I can learn where to start in building my own skills.

References

Alder, R. B., Winder, C., Rosenfeld, L. B., & Proctor II, R. F. (2020). Interplay Fifth Canadian Edition. Oxford.

Derry, S. (n.d.). What Is Your Relationship Climate? Retrieved from SelfGrowth.com: https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/what_is_your_relationship_climate

Lumen Learning. (n.d.). Introduction to Commucation. Retrieved from lumen: https://courses.lumenlearning.com/introductiontocommunication/chapter/self-disclosure/