My score in yet another self-assessment was not what I had expected. Usually I’m an empathetic listener so only getting a 49 surprised me. Then I thought about it and realized that right now I probably wouldn’t be as good of a listener because of how much emotional turmoil I’m in. It’s nice to know that even in emotional and metal turmoil my listening skills are okay. While I may not be as approachable as I would otherwise be I’m still able to listen and care about what the other person is saying (MindTools Content Team, n.d.). I’ll take that as a success.
“Listening is more difficult than many realize. Common barriers to listening include information overload, personal concerns, rapid thought, and noise. Being aware of these potential barriers can help you create environments that are more conductive to listening.” (Alder, Winder, Rosenfeld, & Proctor II, 2020, p. 5). I definitely have some listening barriers I am currently dealing with.
While my personal concerns aren’t upcoming tests or a great night out, they still greatly affect my ability to listen to others. I found it interesting that the textbook did not list emotional state as something that affects our ability to listen to others. So, I hunted for a source that did.
“Negative emotions such as sadness, anger, or personal dislike filter what you hear so that it matches your mood. They can even distract you from listening at all. Other people may read or sense your state and censor themselves, or struggle to communicate.” (Treasure, 2020) This excerpt that Julian Treasure shared from his book How to be Heard summarizes how emotional state can affect our ability to truly listen to others. Julian Treasure went on to state the effect of positive emotions and the need to be aware of your emotions.
Julian Treasure also stated what needs to be done when in a state where your emotions negatively effect your ability to listen to others. “The key is to be aware of your state. If you know that you can’t listen so well because of your current emotional state, you can take action, for example to move important conversations to a better time or to compensate by making greater effort than you naturally would.” (Treasure, 2020)
I also struggle with rapid thoughts at the best of times. My mind wanders easily, and I have to focus to stay on task. This added to my current struggle with my emotional state makes is so much more difficult to listen. With the negative emotional state it is harder to focus on anything, that added on with the rapid thoughts means that unless I put in a lot of effort I won’t get as much out of a conversation unless I work at it.
My goal is to put in more effort when I’m not doing as well, and to let others know that I will struggle more to listen well and will be willing to have the conversation at a later date. I would also like to work on focusing my rapid thoughts to stay in the conversation rather than getting distracted. These are the two key areas I believe I need improvement in, and I plan to use what this course teaches to help with that as much as possible.
References
Alder, R. B., Winder, C., Rosenfeld, L. B., & Proctor II, R. F. (2020). Interplay Fifth Canadian Edition. Oxford.
MindTools Content Team. (n.d.). How Good Are Your Listening Skills? Retrieved from MindTools: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/listening-quiz.htm
Treasure, J. (2020, August). The emotional barriers to listening. Retrieved from Julian Treasure: https://www.juliantreasure.com/blog/emotional-barriers-listening
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